The ongoing work on fixing up and selling the farm has started a new lease of life after the bank came through with the money. Over the weekend I had the delight of my estranged wife telling me that the toilet would not flush. So mean as ever I go over myself with plunger in hand, I push I probe but the water does not budge. Next step off to the DIY shop for a drain winder to try and remove the blockage, but in typical style I get one that’s to big for the job, back to the DIY shop for a more manageable apparatus. After a short root around that’s what comes out brown roots. Then I twig the fact the thing is blocked with roots, “why would somebody flush roots down the, oh hang on that means something is growing into the drain!”
So I’m around the back of the house with a spade on finding the cesspit (the eventual point of this story) and set about finding the toilet waste pipe. I spot two of them and work both of them back but both appear to be dead ends. After opening the tank itself, not for the faint of heart or stomach I find the pipe with a beard of roots dropping out the end. I trace the pipe back to the wall and find its cracked to such an extent it needs a proper job. Therefore I need to call for professional help, that and the fact the cesspit is a bit close to this operation for one as clumsy as I. I notice the tank is a bit full and remember putting a few chemicals down to remove the blockage which have no doubt killed the bacteria.
Its time to phone a to seek knowledge on all maters related to cesspits. I get hand over to a man who does, a French man working in Holland who speaks flawless English! After much advice on pumping and cost per square meter of effluence he gives me the following advice:
“You could always pay $50 for some top up bacteria or just sling in a dead chicken or two”.
So if your cesspit is full
And the place is humming
A chicken’s neck go pull
And fix your dodgy pluming
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